`cheesecake and muffins~

the past

take a walk in the alley of yesterday

December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 October 2008

Monday, March 31, 2008

11:05 PM

hohoho, it's MONDAY.

thankyou ms birchwood for not coming to sch today. we had a lovely 3 and a half hours of break. =))

ok so the only thing that was bad today was chinese compo. what, i don't like compos that talk about current affairs... like it's not a COMPOSITION. you don't compose anything. you copy off silly factual stuff.

OKAY.

IFD makes me wanna pull my hair out. -.-

and too many SIAs are NOT GOOD. like how trying to push us in every aspect may in turn spoil the overall effect.

OKAY.
i hereby end my post.

anego! AKANISHIJIN!
shiyun.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

7:45 PM

決めた。

so since it's like that, i just hope that it's the right choice and GO FOR IT! =)

busybusybusy. HMM, let me take out my long list of paper to see. LA SIA, chem SIA, bio SIA, ChiSIA, Chi book review, IFD, CSM, SAC, CCA. the bulk of acronyms, to shorten a word which is actually very long, to make it look simple when it's actually complicated. how the world strives for perfection in every aspect.

note to self: pls go PRAC yr piano OFTEN now unless you wanna die on stage or put the whole choir to shame. THANKYOU.

somehow, somewhen, i actually AM playing for the church choir. after, like, since sec1 ppl have been coming to ask me to play but i shrugged it off... maybe it's God's plan. and no matter how much i try to steer away he brings me back to where he wants me to be.

like how in the bus i was still contemplating over CAP or JAP, thinking through all the pros and cons and whatever things that have been repeated to me for the past month, my hp suddenly rang and then the moelc person called me and asked me abt JAP. so i was kind of forced to make a decision, to accept or reject. and the conv went in a way, i found myself accepting it. maybe this is God's plan as well, to help me make the decision, since i was super indecisive. God works amazingly.

AND another example, like when i was so frustrated trying to find a substitute for prize giving duty cos i couldn't make it and NO ONE was free. i almost had to give up third lang to do duty and everything... then on the day itself there was an updated list and someone, i dunno how, miraculously took over my duty so i didn't have to do it! it's like i didn't even have to find anyone! i was thanking God like crazy that day.

i'm in such awe of God's works. He's just SO big and limitless and vast, yet he is so personal that her cares for everyone of us.

Quoting today's sermon on revelations, God is like a lion, majestic and strong, and also like a lamb that has been slain, meek and gentle. When Jesus came, he came as a sacrificial lamb to save our sins, hence he was humble, he was gentle. but when he comes again one day, he will be like a lion, strong and majestic and will judge each and every one of us.

it's hard to put it in words.

but anw, i'm super stressed abt ALOT of things now.

i don't know about tomorrow
i just live from day to day

many things about tomorrow
i don't seem to understand
but i know who holds tomorrow
and i know who holds my hand

shiyun.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

12:00 AM

i'm not updating frequently... -.-

BLOCKTEST
it's over. and there's no post-test happiness whatsoever. firstly, i screwed the last test of the day, IH. secondly, class started IMMEDIATELY after the test. thirdly, hw started piling in. fourthly, it was "ok block test over, now let's move on to other work" OKAY. i think my tests this term are not going to be very gd. ohh but it's gone kind of numb hasn't it? ever since i stepped into this place.

MY DISGUSTING DILEMMA
is this what, too much of a blessing? anyway, it's like having to fire someone. like "i love both of you but i have to let one of you go" kind of thing. so drama. so my disgusting dramatic dilemma WILL have to come to an end eventually and i AM 本当に考えて-ing so pray, decide and don't regret. shiyun will not live to regret the choice that she is gna make.

AOB
it's ironic that i'm fated to sit with the most ENTHU and CHATTY ppl in class. =) listen cheryl they are compliments! take sec 1 with steph, and then with jessica and now cheryl! haha... but ok at least i won't be stoning off in classes! ^^ amazing how tchers just randomly decide yr seating arrangements. no, actually i dun think it's random. it's deliberate randomness. am i making sense?

things weighing on my mind now: THAT dilemma, IFD, LA SIA

i just abandoned my coord geom ws.
shiyun.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

6:19 PM

EASTER: no bunnies, no eggs. we dwell on the central aspect of Easter, the Lord's resurrection. Jesus is fully God and fully Man. that is why he can die, that is why he can feel our pain. but that is also why, he can resurrect and he can save us from our sins. his death is not eternal, but the significance of it is eternal. we are eternally saved. and i can safely say, no other "GOD" will ever, ever die for us. except for Jesus, our saviour, our God.

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
'Till on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Thank you Lord, for all you've done.

6:06 PM

APRIL is a totally disgusting month.

i'm not thinking about it, but how to? -.- seriously, i could take more block tests than PWs.

i'm kind of screwed for many many things. >.<

nevermind. at least, what are the gd things for now? ok, at least the worst few subj tests are over. which leaves LA, A-lit and IH. which are scary but you can't really study.

shiyun hasn't got her hands on koizora!!! and, according to the jap book which i sneaked a peak at kino, the first sentence of it was, "I'm LATE!" she smoked a cigarette and ran out of the house or smth. in jap. so the female lead smokes. haha.

i absolutely WANT to catch the movie.
and if kurosagi comes out in s'pore, i will NOT even hesitate. i dun care whether i'm in the middle of block tests or not, i'll just, probably study like crazy then go see it. it's only 2h right... ok that's a claim worth doubting. but i MUST see it.

quotes quotes quotes for a-lit!!!

~~but earthlier happy is the rose distlilled, than that which, withering on the virgin thorn, grows, lives and dies in single blessedness.~~

your eyes are lodestars, and your tongue's sweet air, more tuneful than a lark to shephard's ear.

love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

i can't memorize... blah. how to study lit??? i think i'll just end up slacking off the day away again.

HAPPY EASTER!
shiyun.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

6:23 PM

pop the champagne cos a week has been successfully idled away. ok, so i tried to get things done today. like revising my bio, well desperately, i dun think its all in my head, revising my chem, which is kind of the most successful things i've done today, doing my maths terrible, horribly confusing questions, and jap. ok, i think my maths is very screwed now. don't say it's not, cos it IS. i see it. i think i'll have no time for test. -.- my mind is working slower every year. and i hate memorising explanations, like WHY need an explanation for congruency or similarity, or whether this angle is equal to that... ):

ok so cross my fingers for block test. i haven't even touched LA, lit, chinese or IH. my table's in a big mess. happens every holiday.

yes, i fell prey to procrastination again. come, take me. it always does anyway.

so in short,
CCA attendance SUCKED big time this wk.
did more council stuff this wk.
made eye contact with the comp the whole day this wk.

and still in the big dilemma. i don't know what to say but, my parents want CAP cos of alot of reasons. they stated it all out. my mum did, my dad sent an email from boston. and they said cos there's no next yr for CAP and like, you can go to japan anytime, and maybe you can try out next year or smth. (wait, i want my UK trip next year.) blah... and yes to some extent i do agree. but then, missing out on jap is like...!!! and if i go next year i may miss out on like UK trip or smth, and JC? i'm not sure if i'm even taking jap to JC.

so, haha, this ends my crappy but useless shoutings.
cos in the end, i haven't come to a conclusion.

OK...

school's reopening.
shiyun.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

11:05 PM

OBS blues are still here. come to think of it i really really miss OBS! somehow, it's less complicated than normal life now. even though there were some bitching here and there, i think i can take it better than now. -.- MAYBE i'll be crazy enough to go again. that's a BIG maybe.

anyway, i'm now bogged down by block test, PWs, CCA, council... PLUS a huge dilemma. now how's that for a nice holiday? basically, jap or cap?

選ばなくちゃ！でも、選べないの！！！本当に困った！

so after that crappings in jap, i still 決められない。i need more time. i'm getting like different advices everywhere and currently, i'm quite confused. it's not gd to get too many good things at times you know. but it's not like it's a bad thing, i mean the ability to CHOOSE one and REJECT the other is actually gd. it's just a matter of which one do you prefer? or which one is better? and that's the problem for me now.

OKAY. so you see, compare OBS to my life now, i think i rather be physically dead than be mentally dead. physically challenging makes you healthy! mentally challenging means more stress which leads to health problems. =)

blues.blues.blues. i need time to get over this. blues make me unstable. i feel like a grp 1 element now. or a flaccid plant cell. or a super lost helena, or suffering from an identity crisis. sry, that was chem bio lit and IH put together to form a crappy sentence.

i want to sleep. bah i need sleep. what block test after hols. what hols.
shiyun.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

2:05 PM

BACK FROM OBS!!! and yes, i survived it! =))

i dun like the feeling when you just came back from camp and settling down back to reality. it's a loss and a mixture of feelings. and i'm missing OBS, maybe not the bad parts of it. but oh well, its a time when you get caught in the middle.

anyway, OBS! watch 13, COLUMBUS. came to OBS feeling like excited, scared... Din was nice, he put up with alot of our crap, seriously. 1st day, learnt how to pitch tents, belaying and cooking outdoors. basically, first day was nice, not so dirty and mild. camp 2 is NICE, although it's not the resort kind of site, but it has the campy feeling. we did the trust fall thing, which was quick and gd. =) and yeah our camp site that night was quite nice, except that it rained so the ground was muddy. our rice was uncooked for dinner. haha. but overall outdoor cooking is not bad. =)

2nd day morning was really bad.cos firstly they asked us to wake up very early in the morning, we had to unpitch tents, which was muddy and dirty and wet, and then pack our stuff into OBS backpacks, which amounted to like 12 backpacks a watch. and wash up and change... I HATE PACKING. and so, yeah, ppl got pissed, stressed and frustrated. but anw, we had some retarded morning exercise and went to learn kayaking! =)) kayaks are HEAVY. seriously heavy. but after that we learnt to paddle and capsize, which you get to taste seawater. and then rescuing capsized kayaks. which was really funny when we did it in the open sea cos we kept drifting and sandy and dawn couldn't get their kayaks up onto ours. and the jellyfish scaring and all. it was like screaming frantically. haha. and we all got freaked out by a durian in the sea. anw, after the rescue thing we kayaked to camp 1. which was funfunfun but the current was quite strong so poor arms!

anw camp 1 is seriously like a resort. its so NICE and civilised!! but i'm sorry i like camp 2 better, it has a campy feeling! it has the OBS feeling. in camp 1, we did height element, which looked VERY VERY scary i wanted to cry alr. but is it a miracle or what, i still managed to climb up until quite high, higher than my personal goal. so yeah i guess its called realising yr potential huh. camp 1 had like a canteen so called and we had REAL food! =) but of course we still had to wash our cutlery and stuff. and we pitched tents in a nice area, where its not very dirty. so camp 1 was quite a luxurious stay so called.

3rd day, after morning exercise, we played some games. columbus, cook, cousteau and dagama made camp 2B! and we won the skipping thing which was quite weird cos the prac went pretty bad. and then, we learnt how to read maps for trekking, which i really didn't get. no connection with maps, ty. later we trekked for like half an hour, did the obstacle thing and it started to POUR. rain dampens the spirit really badly, and we had to take shelter in this place in the middle of nowhere. stayed there for like hours. and we played games in there. the BO-LIAO tribe and the crazy superheros. and i gta say jingzhi was dressed up really WELL. so she had like powder and ropes and weird hair! chongmin was some weird dude. haha. but we figured she looked more like L. =)

and after the rain stopped, we had no time to navigate the way ourselves and had to depend on the instructors to lead us. kind of sad but then less time trekking haha. so trekking with heavy backpacks is not really FUN and for the first hour everyone was quite dead, because of the rain. but then i'm really glad ppl started high-ing, singing and made the whole trip very light-hearted! so the trekking memories are relatively good. everyone was so high when we finally made it to camp3 and helped each other massage. atmosphere was good UNTIL we started pitching tents and realised that it was a natural campsite which meant that it was just trees and grass and the nearest toilet was far away and there were stray dogs around. and because we came late we had to pitch tents and cook in the dark. it was so frustrating cos at one point it was so disorganised and everyone was irritated. camp3 was the worst night of all cos we squeezed our backpacks into the tent, which was badly pitched, and we had to do DUTY. for security reasons! and we had to wake up at 4 in the morning. the bad thing is, our tent's duty was at 3.05 to 3.25. so after that we couldn't sleep and started packing. which means i only got less than 4h of sleep. =( that night was bad. alot of pissed ppl, alot of swearing.

but ok, nevertheless, 4th day was sea expedition day! and we had to kayak around pulau ubin back to camp2! morning was the usual stressing out and frustration, esp when we lost like 1 backpack and our group was the last to get everything on to the boat. could see that the instructor was pissed as well. but still, when we started kayaking everything got better. the weather was not bad, with a little drizzle. amazingly, there was no sun at all, for like the 4 days i didn't see the sun at all. it was quite tiring, kayaking for 6h. but it was fun=) i realised my arm muscles aren't that bad after all! and big ships at the channel kept sending big waves towards us and kept pushing us to the jetty or fence. but i got to say that we did well in kayaking! the WHOLE of camp2B! and then the funny thing was we could do our business in the sea during the expedition but alot of us didn't want to so we kept it in for the whole journey. and seeing ppl jump into the water to pee is so funny! ^^

so returned to our beautiful camp2, wet and dirty and stinky. went to pitch tent and shower. then we settled down for DINNER! and we had fresh vegetables for dinner! of course, we had to cook by ourselves, this time for our buddy watch cook! so we had a really great feast! rice, vegetables, curry, omelette... ate my fill for that one. the most satisfying dinner of all. =)

last day, mostly packing up the store, washing ponchos, tents and groundsheets. the sun finally came up on that day, but it was kind of no use right, since there were no more activities. did souvenir shopping and slept in the boat. it's like, when the boat touched the jetty and you see all the NY teachers looking at you, you get this sense of mixed feeling. like I'M HOME FINALLY! and oh crap, i'm back again.

post camp blues suck. and after 5 days you get an attachment to camp.i mean even if it's really bad at times during the camp pitching and the bitching, the packing... OBS had really fun memories for me. and you want to go back to all the luxuries but not reality. sickening mixed feelings. somehow i want to go back to OBS, without the frustration. and yes seniors do say its fun, i got to say that overall, the memories there are fun. but OBS won't be OBS without the frustration too. home is different now. seriously, i don't know which is better. and reality is BAD. it's a time when i just want to sit in the comfort of my home, thinking about OBS and not doing anything else. oh well, i suppose it will just get better after a while.

things i brought back from OBS:
1) tent pitching. which is bad when no one cooperates and the ground is dirty.
2) i learnt how to open tin cans with a super small manual can opener.
3) I CAN CONQUER HEIGHT ELEMENT!
4) trekking is fun when everybody makes it fun.
5) i LOVE kayaking!!! i'll do it again and again and again.
6) OBS brings out the true personalities in everyone. all of us can see it.
7) the process may be quite bad, but after it all you realise it's actually very memorable.

and OBS instructors are really nice. Din put up with alot of our crappiness. and even though it was so obvious he was pissed at times, he didn't vent it out or anything. he was really nice. and LoYee's "red-shirt shuai guy", vivien and chu ai. they make OBS even more fun.

but i still can't stand the fact that cousteau's instructor made APPLE CRUMBLE for them!!!!!!!!! that's too nice to take in.

anw, it's so surreal that OBS is over. and it's time to study for block test, and do projects and hw, and council stuff. this is life. too bad.

oh and when i just stepped onto punggol jetty and was walking stonely towards the bus, ms teo pulled me and like "SHIYUN i think you got into CAP!". ...(1 second)...(2 sec)... "huh. oh! erm, i may have jap immersion" choices are flung right into my face the moment i reach civilisation huh. i got to think abt this more. it's like my june hols are really squashed? but wth i alr have the march hols to handle.

there was no sun in OBS (except the last day) and i still got tanner!
maybe 305 and 312 will become closer. who knows?
and stupid chinatown project. other classes are not even doing it! why only OUR CLASS?

the blues kick in.
OBS!
shiyun.