the past
take a walk in the alley of yesterday
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Friday, November 23, 2007
6:40 PM
haven't posted since last wk. ok... well contrary to last week this week is one heck of a week. actually this week passed quite slowly i felt. like ever since choral night, 2 weeks have passed but quite alot of things have been done actually. and the freaking bad thing is, i think i'm really losing my nice nice voice ok. like i sound ok when i talk but i can't hit high notes! ever since choral night and i think cheering made it worse. i so dun wanna lose it permanently. SUNDAY-18/11went to escape after youth, finally. it was open but then some rides, the nice ones, were closed for maintenance. and if some rides were closed then actually there's nothing much there cos there's so limited rides there. and there were few ppl only, compared to the no. of ppl who wanted to go initially. we basically sat everything, ok for the ppl who came early (lingo amelia steph) but i didn't sit wet and wild cos it started to rain! oh and amazingly, bimbos could drive a go-kart! and amelia who's usually very pro in everything and i thought she could drive kept banging into ppl. haha. looks can be deceiving. actually all the rides are really mild, even the invertor which turns you upside down. after the second round or so i didn't really feel very scared. and the sao xing haunted house which had no live ghosts at all and then the normal rides which bring you round and round and you just admire scenery kind of thing. haha. and when it started to rain we went to play the carnival games. tried our luck at the shooting the ring at the bottle one cos it had a very cute dolphin toy there but apparently it was impossible. and then watched the horse-racing one and then sandy won this purple crayon toy at the water gun station which got steph really mad cos she could have won it. she could have actually. so... rainrainrain then we got wet being sheltered under a tiny umbrella, took the shuttle bus to mrt, bought sherm's present at white sands and then went home. went to j8, bought mos burger, went home, bathe, eat, watch tv, sleep. TUESDAY-20/11we had pre-cheering session to learn all school cheers, council cheers and song. and then after that i rushed back home, hastily last minute packed my bag and rushed out of the house again for cca grad night. to parsir ris. AGAIN. but in the end i didn't use like half of what i packed. anyway grad night was FUN! and it was more fun than class chalet actually. ok it's not very nice to say that but then cos the seniors got everything planned out, we played cards, monopoly, wacko, barbequed, snacked. so it was like every minute you got something to do. and FINALLY ok since after exams i've been asking ppl to play bridge with me and then nobody knew how to play, i got to play round after round of bridge! HAHA. barbeque was GOOD. ok partly because we were just eating and the sec3s were barbequeing, but then the food that they barbecued was good, much better than our class' failed nuggets and erm... burnt ones. but then of course it was nice fanning like crazy during class chalet. BUT anw, this time i ate more than class chalet and played bridge with sec4s! cos i was so bridge-deprived. and then later we went up to the room, slacked somemore, played monopoly... blah. then we had the hand over ceremony. oh and it wasn't as serious and emotional like last year's. each batch had to give the sec4s a batch gift. so it was like a nice tee with the word mercury for van, a nice wallet for sherm, a nice fish necklace for limyu and a pink and white striped bikini for jessie! HAHA. and it was bought on that day cos apparently it was last minute. so it was funny. handover was nice with the candles and all and the sec3s made a very nice booklet thing for the sec4s with photos and all. so sweet! then the speeches by everybody and stuff like that. then after that we walked eiffel to watsons outside the chalet, got caught in the rain... then when it started to get late everybody started going home and the stayover ppl who were not gna sleep were playing monopoly. and i was winning!!! until cheryl paid yingci $11000 for her nassim house. then we went out to the beach at 3+am, walked around, got our slippers soaked in mud, slacked abit then when back. and this time, no more ghostly encounters like class chalet. everybody was kind of dead when we went back to the room and started sleeping. WEDNESDAY-21/11woke up at 7+ and realised only the sec1s who apparently didn't sleep at all had gone out for breakfast and steph was the only one awake by then. the rest were still sleeping and so the whole room was like dark and quiet and depressing. so me and steph went out to get some fresh air. then slacked and random talk... until about 9+ we got this call saying we had to check out by 1030 and most of the ppl haven't got out of bed yet. so woke everyone up and made a fairly fast cleanup and check out. so in the end, the morning was quite useless, like class chalet. went to white sands after that to lunch and vanessa was scaring us about OBS. i realise i'm gonna face alot of physical stuff starting from council camp to OBS... and i'm not exactly fit ok. then slept on the mrt to city hall... went with cheryl to van's house where she blurted out chunks of bsp stuff which didn't really make sense to me. chinese politics and modern history... something i will lose interest in quite immediately. and cheryl was also blurting out weird chinese names and words. oh mann... i realise i'm actually quite limited in knowledge. haha. and i realised vanessa is a very disciplined and hardworking and guai person. makes me feel guilty...TODAY-23/11DEAD tired after today. realised that my arms were totally weak already. council cheering session was a whole wake-up call... i mean i expected that the seniors would be harsh but then it was tough, physically. i mean i'm not the morning person who can get physical in the morning but at least it was something that i cannot forget. council's gonna be tough and i think it's gonna be tougher next year when we really start council work together with school and cca. it's gonna be worse than this. and council camp will be worse as well. just hope i can pull through and become a stronger person. then after cheering session had cca immediately. which meant warm ups stretching yoga, some short device work and it required us to lift our hands for a long long time... so which meant i was working out the WHOLE day. ok until 3 that is. of course cca is easier than council. then went to eat lunch and talked and went home. sweated the whole day, was dirty and smelly... and i slapped my thighs until the capillaries broke. its gross. but i think most of my council batchmates had the same problem. repurcussions of cheering. right... clean and nice. all ready to indulge in some tv and sleep. yay... shiyun.
Friday, November 16, 2007
5:38 PM
this whole week is pretty wasted i guess... except for finishing that english compo. and then i realise i have one portfolio to do!!! anw been thinking about the whole 2 years and its like we really went through alot alot. its sad to see us split. but anyway few ppl i wanna thank for these wonderful 2 years. not that i dun appreciate the others but these ppl made up the centre of my 203 life.
LAO DA. lingo.
the one that always never fails to go out with me/us, is funky sporty cheerful chio and ASB. she wasn't one of my first friends, in fact we never really talked in sec1. but this year we got to know each other more and more, and she became my "wanna go down and eat" friend. haha. probably because we go out alot or more often than the other "4 of us" recently, i became closer to you during the later parts of this year. and i realise you're a very very nice person to hang out with. so, thanks for making my 203 life a more exciting one, cos whenever i wanna go out or do smth, you always say yes with a smile.
LAO ER. linghan.
the other ling. one of my first friends in NY and has been with me for these 2 years. cheerful, loud, sometimes childish, sporty, muscular (lol), sweet. and who can forget the unrefined laughter? still rmb what i said in the audi at the beginning of sec1? and i guess its quite true. and maybe cos we're both christians, and we've kind of experienced each other's happy and sad times, this is what pulled us closer together. and although you're not the kind that goes out, k-box, shopping, watch dramas, you're fun to be with. and even though you're the very straightforward sort, and i admit that there were times i disapproved of the stuff that you do, but in the end you're really sweet and you care for your friends. and i've always admired your family. cos you're are like really sweet and close together. thankyou, for being there when i need you.
LAO SI. amelia.
brainy, tall, totally maths and science person, realistic, practical, fun, funny. haha since when did we start comparing heights? you're really awesome and it's realy comfortable hanging out with you. at times you're funny and you pout. and you're always the one that brings us back to reality and makes sure we finish the project on time. so we can't really do without you, cos like that we would continue crapping and the stuff wil nvr be done on time. i suppose maybe cos we're of similar heights, and just 4 days apart, it's easy to talk to you. thankyou for the comfort you give me as a friend.
TABBY.
stone and sometimes moody but with a very very gd heart. and i think i was closer to you in sec1 but then as tablemates in sec2, you really gave me support when i needed it. i gotta say i don't hang out with you alot, but because we both have the same faith, you're always there to give me appropriate help and support and i'm very very thankful to you. religious or not, you're someone that always pulls me back to my faith, telling me to do my QT, writing verses and all that. and i think singing christian songs with you during the recording of the cd, or the one with ms koh, is something i can take away. because that was the time where i felt i could proclaim my faith. thankyou.
bigbimbo.steph.
fellow TCNer, first person i met in NY. well... sitting beside you in sec1 was interesting. haha. and i have to say that although i feel our way of thinking is quite different, you put a big smile on my face. cos you're always full of crap and bimbotic. so i guess it's fun to talk to you. you're the one that actually bothers to reach out to everyone in the class. always enthu, taking pics. and you don't really get angry, although at times you get pissed. and you don't bear grudges. beneath that bimbo-ness, i see someone who loves to be loved and tries to keep the peace with everyone. thank you bimbo, for adding spice and colour to my 203 life.
thank you class comm.
thank you teachers.
thank you LORD.
and for the rest, even if we were in different cliques, even if we quarelled before, even if we nvr really talked, i thank you for just simply being 203. cos 203 will not be 203, if there weren't the 33 of us.
shiyun
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
4:38 PM
312'08 is still stuck in my mind. apparently there are 6 ex-203 ppl and 7 ex-ATS ppl and 3 TCN ppl in there so i'm thinking it will not be so bad cos i know quite alot of ppl. how to get along is the question i suppose. but anyway the feeling now is like starting a whole new year anew. kind of unsure about everything. but i have this feeling 312 is not gna be like 203. i mean the whole feel wil be different. maybe bcos of the ppl inside. but anw i suppose 203 is like 312 in a way, made up of quite different ppl. oh well... JIAYOU 312'08! i wanna know who's the FT. and all our teachers. oh sheesh. right. i'm looking forward to a new 312'08 with new teachers but with 203'07 still firmly lodged in my mind. and can nvr forget zzc for the 2 years. ぜったいできる!see ahead. smile.shiyun.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
6:14 PM
shiyun finally knows what it feels like to be alone. like really alone. and i'm quite amazed i can not talk to anyone for the whole day. i mean besides the very basic talk. and i think i know how it's like to feel hated. and feel like a big loser as well. and i see my confidence diffusing away from me by the day. yes, apparently i'm quite depressed at the moment. can't be helped. drowned myself in dramas, finally finished my justice essay. and looking at the sec3 class allocation just made me worse. 312.312.312. i can't imagine 312'08. how will it be like? i actually know quite alot of ppl there but its like i dun wanna start knowing ppl all over again, making friends all over again, starting sch all over again. i don't know. too many troubles.
i just need things to clear up. NOW. like RIGHT NOW. i feel very stuffed inside.
but as always, i tell myself to face everything with a smile. cos when you smile, you don't let ppl feel what you feel inside, and its better rather than make them gloomy for the whole day. you'll realise that whatever's inside will start to get pretty numb and immune.
though there's still a dull pain.
can you just NOT torture me like this?
我没有若无其事
只是无法开口
shiyun.
Friday, November 09, 2007
10:49 AM
shiyun is currently suffering from loss of voice, bad cough and overly emotional attachment to her class 203. after like 3 days really together with the class, after class chalet and choral night all packed together, i really really come to realise this is it. maybe class chalet and choral night were all too high and fun i didn't come to realise but on wed night when i walked out of school to the car i suddenly felt like "crap, this is the last time we can ever ever ever be together".
class chalet was not what i expected it to be. i mean it was not AS fun cos of stupid escape but i gotta say i thoroughly enjoyed it. and even though we didn't get to see the sunrise, it's still company of friends around me that i really savoured. cos when we came for the barbeque quite late, what i saw was quite heartening cos firstly quite many ppl turned up. and for those who have always objected to different cliques in the class, i felt that it has come to a point not that there were no cliques, but the different cliques were able to communicate with each other and have fun together. so of course you'll have your own closer circle of friends, but when you're able to extend it to others in the class and be able to work together, now that's what i call a united class. the next day in the chalet was mainly sleeping cos everyone was tired after staying up late. by then there were like only 10+ ppl left but i still liked it. it's nice spending a lazy morning with some of your friends. and then at night when i went to watch choral night, my voice was already giving up on me and i was popping lozenges like there was no tmr. that was when it got me really really scared that i will completely lose my voice on wed and cause my group to forfeit their chances to perform. and that would really be my fault cos it's the last time to work and perform together as a group and as a class. i mean such things are just quite unfortunate and the whole night i was thinking i really couldn't let my class down. so that night and the next day, with a whole pack of medicine and healthy food (ok minus the ice-cream), i managed to keep my already croaky voice to a certain standard. at least, a croaky mcbeth will be better than no performance at all. choral night actually went faster than i realised. the rehearsals were actually quite bad and regarding the "those who can project their voices are not projecting it", i really did try ok. and despite a hoarse voice i tried to put emotions in it. and i want to applaud the agents cos of missing ppl yall actually had to come up with something new on that day itself and yall did it wonderfully on stage. everybody was great on stage. and even with a lousy plot and not really an audience's favourite, i feel that we have done our very very best. high-ing after choral night was inevitable. felt that usual high after a performance. awaiting the other group to finish their performance and then cheering and singing as a class was touching. but maybe it just went too fast. everything was suddenly over and everyone was hugging each other and crying. or maybe i couldn't grasp or realise fast enough cos at that time i was still quite "not very emo". and then briefing and then we walked our separate ways. and when i walked out of school alone,to the car, then i felt it. that sense of SHIT I REALLY DUN WANT IT TO END!!! kind of feeling. and really deeply missing 203 to bits and can't bear to walk out of the school kind of feeling. guess i'm quite slow at realising stuff. or maybe it only comes out when i'm alone. coming back home, waking up the next day, i plunged from a 3 day high to an all time low. probably due to too much highing for the past 3 days, i suddenly went really melancholic. and still missing 203. still had that emotional attachment to 203. over within 3 days and back to normal life. or perhaps i was still struggling to adapt back to the old normal life. and i realise this happens to me qutie often. thurs. usual family day outing to botanic gardens. was totally not high in the morning. it was like i just woken up from this really sweet sweet dream. or maybe i still haven't gotten over choral night or 203. but walking in botanic gardens suddenly reminded me of amazing race during lsc. and it was like walking here and remembering we did some game here. and at some point of time i really felt like tearing but obviously i didn't. too much memories of 203. went back home, skipped lunch and fell asleep in the afternoon. things started getting better at night. went out to eat, walk around. and ok the depressing moments started to get better. at least i could enjoy the night out with the family. nothing much actually, just went back to normal life.at least there are still outings left with 203 ppl to escape, to movies and etc. i'll never hesitate to go. and even if we just spend our time idling in shopping centres or eating i really dun mind. just wanna spend more time with 203. spend the remaining time left. oh sheesh... the last thing i really want to see right now is the list of sec3 classes for 2008. trying to get hw done. which brings me even more back to reality. and somehow i lost the urge to study or touch any books. i know i'll be busy in december, cca,council, hokkaido... and sometimes i feel quite frustrated that time is just flying past my face so fast. don't wanna move on. don't wanna promote to sec3. and i know no matter how much we promise to ourselves that 203 will forever stay bonded and united, how we're gna have class lunch every week, how we're gna meet up every 20/03 or how we're gna have class chalet again, the truth is, 203 is gonna split, and breaking away is inevitable. one day we're gna grow in our own ways and we'll not be seeing each other for 8h a day, 5 days in a week everyday. we'll not be as close as we are now. there'll be another class for us to commit to, other friends that we spend time together and different projects and hw that we'll have to do. and that's what makes me really sad. that this strong attachment with 203 will start to fade away as we move on. i don't want this to happen but this is like a phase in which when it finishes we have to move on to a different phase in life. i love 203. but looking back at the previous classes that i was in years ago, there's just this unwanted feeling that 203 will not mean as much to me as it is now. but i pray that this friendship will take us through our lives. people say secondary school friends will mostly be friends for life. i hope this is true. but i'm just asking myself, when one day i leave my sec4 class, or jc, or uni, i'm gna have this same feeling again. we enter a phase of life, grow to love it, then as we finish that phase, we hate to leave, yet when we enter another phase of life, we will grow to love it again. we say so many things that we dun wanna leave, or dun wanna say gdbye, but when we move on we break away. it's like what we're saying now will not last as we move on.203 forever. harsh reality tells me it's very very hard to achieve. countless times we say 6A forever, 203 forever then "some class" forever. has it ever been true? but for now. it's 203 forever. i guess there are so many memories for me to keep.二零三我们这一班克服了种种困难最终只是真纯简单两年的美好时光深深留在心房shiyun.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
1:41 PM
dun feel like posting. and haven't posted for so long. ok fundraising was good overall cos we sold all our flowers and cookies even before the interval so we didn't even have to set up our stall during the interval. and we raised like $323++. WE ARE PRO. and flowers are a hit.chalet was like ok just that stupid escape theme park has to po wo men de leng shui and be closed yesterday. so stupid so in the end we like went there so early for nothing. so we went to shop. haha. and then barbecue was ok. everybody was like crowding around fanning and fanning. yup. then we went for night walk and saw this red thing on a tree and got reallly freaked out. erm and then after rounds of cards we wanted to stay up but then everyone started falling asleep one by one. then i realised amelia ba zhan-ed 3/4 of the bed so i could only sleep in one straight line. haha. then in the morning we wanted to see sunrise so we went down to the sea but then we only saw a very bright moon cos the sun was covered by clouds. haiz. then slacked, slept, breakfast and went home. all in all chalet was fun but then could be more fun IF escape was open. AND also IF i DIDN'T LOSE MY VOICE. i'm gonna die tmr...i'm gna be a voice-less, croaky mcbeth. thanks to brownies and cookies and macs and shouting and screaming. i'm like dunking all the "liang" stuff now. sigh. pray pray pray tmr i get my voice back. or at least, be able to talk like a normal person. class chalet in one para. i shall post more about it next time la cos i'm in no mood to blog. going for choral night today.yay.shiyun.
herbasics
shiyun
14 going on 15
30.09.93
NYGH
DOES:
theatre
english literature
JAPANESE
ADORES:
foreign languages
creative writing
cheesecake!
online dramas
roller coasters
singing for the love of it
music
PEEVES:
disorganized notes
long-winded people
noise early in the morning
alot of homework ALL AT ONCE
too much pressure
WANTS TO CHANGE:
procrastination
being late all the time
wishes
striving for these
- to LOVE my life
- step back, relax and break rules from time to time (IF POSSIBLE)
- keep very close to GOD
- master the Japanese language, then learn at least 1 or 2 more
- to master my piano skills, at least match up to a reasonable standard?
- attend vocal courses (:
- learn the drums
- to be more hospitable
- exercise more!